The Spanning Set of Kink Roles
A common, and very frustrating, mentality in kink circles (especially online ones), is the conflating of the idea of being a top or bottom, with the idea of being dominant or submissive. Most often, this is seen in the regular assumption that someone who is a bottom, is automatically submissive, or that someone acting submissive, is being a bottom. As we will see in this article, these are not the same thing, and in many ways, conflating them is actively harmful to those who don't perfectly fit the standard top dominant, or bottom submissive categories. We will also discus the idea of leader and follower and how they differ again.
A top is the giving party in a sexual act or kink scene. A top is not necessarily physically on the top in a scene, but is always the one giving. Likewise, the top is not always the dominant in a scene and the submissive may be the top. By contrast a bottom the receiving party in a sexual act or kink scene. Like a top is not necessarily physically on the top, a bottom is not necessarily physically on the bottom in a scene, but is always the one receiving. Giving in this context means to be the one actively doing something to the other party, while receiving is by contrast, the part having something actively done to them. In general someone who can, or enjoys doing both, is referred to as a vers.
As opposed to the positional roles of top and bottom, dominant and submissive roles instead refer to the balance of power in a scene or dynamic. A dominant is the member of the dynamic who holds power over another. This power means that they are the one in direct control of events, and the submissive(s) in the scene, regardless of what position they are in with regards to topping or bottoming. Someone who can, or will, do both is referred to as a switch. Its important to note that longer term dominance and submission can exist in harmony, and being able to be submissive doesn't diminish someone as a dominant. See our other article on the topic.
Leader and follower are a much less commonly discussed (or even known about) roles. They stand apart from the other two sets of roles, in that, they are often unclear at first glance who is what within a dynamic. The leader is responsible for defining the direction of the dynamic and how things will develop over time. Often the dominant in a dynamic is assumed to be the leader, but just as often the submissive is leader or the responsibility is shared equally between them. Unlike the other roles, leader and follower take effect over longer time periods.
To help fully understand the application of these roles, lets look at an example scenario. For simplicity, we will highlight who is top and who is dominant, the inverse role should follow naturally from that. Two beings are engaged in oral sex, with one (we will call them A) sucking off the other (we will call them B) on B's command. In this scenario, A is giving, so A is the top while B has the power, hence B is the dominant. If now B decides to start face fucking A, a shift of positional roles has occored and now, since B is the giving party, B is the top, while A has become the bottom. In this scenario, regarless of if they were topping or bottoming, B was always the dominant. Now lets assume that A gets worked up from this and decides they want to take control. They push B down and order B to start fucking them. A has now taken control of the scene, and as a result, A is now the dominant, since B is the still the giving party B remains the top however.
So why is it important to understand what each of these roles are and when to apply them? Often bottoms are assumed to be submissive, and tops, dominant. This creates a pressure on individuals to fill certain roles based on other roles, or face stigma and criticism. Bottom dominants in particular find themselves a target for this kind of behaviour, often finding themselves being accused of "not being real doms" and even facing discrimination based on their being a bottom dominant. And yet, none of these roles are, or should be, exclusively tied to each other across axes and folks should be encouraged to explore combinations outside of the normal to find what they enjoy.
And yes, the title of this article is a maths joke.